tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510238602171978754.post5996049625696324854..comments2023-08-26T10:33:55.661-04:00Comments on Our New Websites have Launched. Prisonist.org and GrantLaw.com. Links in Sidebar Below. : A White-Collar Minister At A Pharisee’s House, by Jeff Grant: Luke 14:8-11Rev Jeff Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06756187600070494190noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510238602171978754.post-8493172033764655722014-10-26T20:43:14.362-04:002014-10-26T20:43:14.362-04:00Jeff,
I was just reading the blog post when your...Jeff, <br /><br />I was just reading the blog post when your email asking for thoughts came in. I have so many thoughts about various things you said, but what has caused me to respond so quickly is your admission that you are hurting. I know how hard it is to be the one others look to for guidance and support when we, ourselves, are hurting and in need of support and are afraid to admit it. <br /><br />In my mediations, parties sometimes compliment me on their perception of my interpersonal skills, strength, sense of humor or joie de vivre. It makes me feel as if I am being a complete fraud because their perceptions could not be farther from the truth. I don’t feel strong, and feeling joy—at least at this point— is a thing of the past for me. I hurt in silence while I work at solving their problems, and the pain worsens each day when work comes to a close and I am no longer actively engaging with others to achieve their goals. I imagine this is similar to what you experience. <br /><br />I can’t imagine how hard it is for someone like you — who is still healing — to feel as if he needs to put others first in their healing. The situation you describe about being an invited guest, but feeling as if you are wearing a scarlet letter, is entirely understandable. You may or may not in fact be seen that way, but what we all have to remind ourselves is the way people choose to view us, or categorize us, is not OUR PROBLEM, but theirs and theirs alone. Judging others is so easy to do and so hard to resist. For some, it is the only way they can be assured they will always be “above” those they judge. Our job is to not let it affect how we see ourselves. I fight against my predisposition to worry about how others view me every day of my life. If it weren’t related to my husband’s situation, it would be related to something else. I want people to like me so I do what I can to please everyone and end up leaving myself out of the equation sometimes! I think you may do the same. <br /><br />My therapist told me this week I need to do something JUST FOR MYSELF this week. She asked me what I could do that would make me happy, even if for just a little while. I really had to think because it has been an awfully long time since I thought about doing something for the fun of it. Believe it or not, I could not think of one single thing! Then she asked, “What about a massage?” And I responded,” Oh, I LOVE massages!” Bingo. My homework this week is to get a massage! Your homework is to think of something that might take away the pain and instead will provide you with pleasure, even if temporary in nature. I want you to tell ME what would bring YOU — and you alone — peace, joy or pleasure. And it can’t be doing something for someone else. It must be doing something JUST FOR YOU. <br /><br />Hey, and that “tattoo” you talk about? Remember the Holocaust and the numbers tattooed on the Jews at Auschwitz? The meaning of those tattoos changed over time…. and now for the survivors and their families, those tattooed numbers are nothing short of badges of honor. You should think of your “tattoo” the same way. You made a mistake, you paid for it, became a better person for it, and now you are dedicating yourself to helping others. That sounds much more like a badge than a scarlet letter to me. <br /><br />Thank you for talking about your hurt. Please let me know how I can help. <br /><br />Hugs, <br />Adrienne<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13483469142967039227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510238602171978754.post-8246284902089310432014-10-26T19:29:51.496-04:002014-10-26T19:29:51.496-04:00Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God wo...Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Your purpose is to be a voice. It will not always be easy, but God's guidance will help you stay the course. <br /><br /><br />Lori Dooleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10810051656143177063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510238602171978754.post-25349119346187664902014-10-26T14:37:04.707-04:002014-10-26T14:37:04.707-04:00Thanks for your strength in vulnerability. It is g...Thanks for your strength in vulnerability. It is good to be reminded that the two so often go hand in hand.Rev. Thia Reggiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15300354967604112051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510238602171978754.post-31922381076643552432014-10-26T14:36:18.731-04:002014-10-26T14:36:18.731-04:00May God continue to bless you and this ministry. Y...May God continue to bless you and this ministry. You have a compelling story filled with redemption and hope and love. Who among couldn't use that in our everyday practical lives!<br />If what you are doing wasn't needed in the world, God would not have called you to this ministry. Keep the faith!<br /><br />Babz Rawls Ivyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04059921674059371076noreply@blogger.com