Faith and Dignity on CorrLinks: Federal Prison Email

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Faith and Dignity on CorrLinks: 

Federal Prison Email

 CorrLinks is a way for family and friends to

 communicate with their loved ones
  incarcerated in prison.  We received 
our ministee's permission to post (anonymously) 
this series of powerful CorrLinks

 emails that we thought would be 
particularly helpful to our 
audience at prisonist.org.

__________

Good morning Jeff, sorry for delaying this note but money is tight for me right now.

In short I'm assuming that you have some of my background and what issues I might have - but I will be brief to start:

I feel enormously sad and distressed over my crime and all who I have hurt - including XXX (now my Former Wife) and my Children, Friends and other Family. I just couldn't get enough, I had to have it all and didn't value the most important things I had - my Family and Friends - and mostly - God himself.  It pains me now to hold back from openly crying from the pain I feel.  I feel so alone, so damaged.

The only thing its seems I have left is what is in my locker here at [Federal Prison].  I pray to God for forgiveness for my sins and I feel he has forgiven those sins - but its the stain of those sins that have deeply damaged me so much.  The pain is so much that I cry myself to sleep most every night and wake up several times to pray to God for a better life - another chance to do what is right in his way.  

Right now I'm holding my own - but it scares me if things go bad I may not make it as any health care at [Federal Prison] is poor at best. 

I go to Church (Catholic) here every weekend. We only have a Priest once a month so this bothers me.  Its so cold and I miss a real Church with a real Priest to have Holy communion.  But I try to make the best of it. I have hurt XXX very much - it pains me extremely. I can't even call and talk
with her and hold back the tears and crying.  She is very strong and I think she still loves me. I know she doesn't trust me any more - but I can't blame her at all...  Being divorced has devastated me. Losing that Godly blessing has just about put me over the edge - but I pray she stays with me - somehow...

I am extremely lonely here. I trust no one - especially the staff and other inmates. There are so may guards that are crooked and dishonest its pitiful... There is also so much hate [between] the blacks [and] whites it troubles me a lot!!

That's it for now. XXX

__________

Dear XXX,

...I understand and empathize with your sadness. These are very difficult things but I've gotten through it one day at a time by knowing that God does not want me to spend the rest of my life living in shame and distress. I cannot lie to you, I've been going through this for about 15 years and some days are still very troubling. I had a bout of depression last year that I couldn't really explain.  But mostly, life is better than it's ever been before because I've turned my life and will over to the care of God, lead a purposeful life of service to others, and have allowed love to reenter my life.  For example, I never would have met or married my wife Lynn had I not hit my bottom.

One of the things I came to understand was that in the few years before my bottom, in my case it was disbarment, suicide attempt & arrest, I was actually engaged in self-sabotage. That is, I needed and wanted subconsciously for my old life to end but I had no tools to get out elegantly and with dignity.  I've since met many people who do have the ability to end things that didn't work and start new things without blowing things up. But for the overwhelming amount of men I've helped, it's almost always the same: they were heading toward a tipping point, knew it on some level at least, and just couldn't walk into the bedroom and admit to their wives that they were not the men they thought they were, were not capable of doing the things they thought they could do. So instead of honoring and admitting their struggles, they instead chose to suffer. Choosing suffering over struggling is never a good idea. And here's the craziest thing, in most of these families, the wives would have understood and have been glad to downsize, start over, trade a material world for a more spiritual one; what they really needed and wanted was more time, attention and love. 

So here's the challenge, to now choose struggling over suffering. I suggest that you (and I) live a life of being a power of example: examples to the community, our families, to our children, to our wives or ex-wives, and to God.  Why not? You've got the time, as did I. I started with choosing three goals, one each for mind, body and spirit. And once chosen, to work on each a little bit every single day. For my mind, I learned how to play guitar and took over 200 lessons while inside. I now play a heck of a guitar and have played lead guitar in the church band. For my body, I walked 14,000 laps around the track, 3500 miles the equivalent of walking from NY to LA. And for spirit, I read the Bible and turned to faith, religion and service to others in new and unexpected ways. More on that in a future email.

There are many men who have written about their prison experiences (men like Frankl, Bonhoeffer, Mandela, Dr. King) and all agree that there are two things that we can control in such places of limited control: 1. the ability to control our bodies and attitudes, and 2. the ability to help others.

My prayer for you is to grow, learn and evolve in your prison experience the very best you can. I will help in any way I can.  Please write back with your thoughts and feelings.

Blessings, Jeff 

__________

Jeff,

I read your note and have already started my program as
follows - see what you think...

I knew right away after being here for a few months (and these were some very tough months) I need to keep busy and do things with a purpose.  I also confessed my sins to God and I believe I've been forgiven for those sins - now moving ahead with the help of the Holy Spirit.   

I think I owe most of my aggressive work to my Ex-Wife
XXX.   She is my Angel from God giving me the support and Love to continue my recovery... I still do have some days here being so lonely. I miss my Family and XXX so very much and are excited about restarting my Life with them when I get out of here.  

I worked very hard at my Job for over 35 years - 14 hours + a day... I still miss that job - but paying the price for my crime... It still wakes me up at night where I'm still ready to go back to work and lead my department.

Your Feedback and or comments please.

God Bless you and your efforts Jeff !!
You're in my prayers. XXX

__________

Dear XXX,

I think what you've already undertaken is extraordinary. Here's a cool idea. At our [Norfield Congregational Church in Weston, CT] we have a new Men's Bible and Discussion Group [that will meet every other Monday evening], I'd like you to become a member of it in absentia. Simply, I will email you the scripture portions and you can email me your reflection based upon your experience in prison. For our Monday, February 29th meeting, we are using the readings from the Sunday, March 6th lectionary: Joshua 5:9-12, Psalm 32, 2 Corinthians 5:16-21 and Luke 15:1-3, 11b-32.  I will email or mail you anything that comes from the group. And I will add you to the men's group roster - what a gift!

I'd like your permission to blog our... emails on our website.  They are very powerful! I think they will help a lot of people.  I will post yours anonymously of course. Please let me know if I have your permission?

Blessings, Jeff  

__________

No problem Jeff - Permission Granted without my name.
I will review the scriptures and look for your mailings...
Thank you, XXX

__________

DONATIONS

We are grateful for all donations to our Ministries that enable us to grow, reach out and serve this community for which there is far too little understanding, compassion and empathy.  Donations can be made by credit card/PayPal here, at the "Donate" button on on our site, prisonist.org or by sending your check payable to: "Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc." P.O. Box 1232, Weston, Connecticut 06883. 

Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc. is a CT Religious Corp. with 501c3 status - all donations are tax deductible to the extent permitted by law. Thank you for your support and generosity.

If you, a friend or a family member are experiencing a white-collar or nonviolent incarceration issue, please contact us and we will promptly send you an information package by mail, email or via Dropbox.

The darkest days of a person's life can be a 

time of renewal and hope

__________

Progressive Prison Project/

Innocent Spouse & Children Project

Rev. Jeff Grant, JD, M Div, Minister/Director
jgrant@prisonist.org
(o) 203-769-1096
(m) 203-339-5887
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A Repurposed Life: A Biblical Perspective, By Jeff Grant, JD, M Div

Progressive Prison Project

Innocent Spouse & Children Project

Greenwich, Connecticut

A Repurposed Life:
A Biblical Perspective

By Rev. Jeff Grant, JD, M Div

____________

WHAT IF, you are exactly where you are supposed to be?

So many of us are in a place where our first life has come to an end.  A divorce, the death of a child or other loved one, loss of a job or career, alcohol and drug problems that finally crushed us, financial issues that overwhelmed our ability to be present for ourselves and our families, an illness or mental illness, hospitalization, poor judgment that has caused rampant legal problems, incarceration.

So many of us are suffering and want to find a new way.  But they - we - are mostly frozen.  Stopped dead in our tracks feeling alone, isolated, and hopeless.  We mourn the past and fear the future.

WHAT IF, the feelings you are feeling, the sorrows and joys, the suffering and the release, are what is exactly intended for you?  More than just intended for you, what if this moment in your life had to happen – that it has actually been pre-programmed?  Pre-programmed for you, and for me, and for everyone.

WHAT IF, knowing that this was pre-programmed, we could anticipate it, welcome it, and accept this part of life as natural.  As a God-given portion of our lives.  I’m talking to you about the middle part, the liminal part.  The part of life you are in now – after the first life you’ve lived. And before your second life, a life of uncertainty and the unknown.

WHAT IF, where you are right now is actually the best time of life – the greatest moment of life?  And to experience it in all its greatness, all you have to do is ACCEPT that this is exactly where you are supposed to be?  That God has pre-programmed in us this moment - whether it be for a week, a month, a year or a decade – and has given us the power and free-will to make it absolutely the greatest period of our lives?
 
Among my resolutions for this New Year is to present to you some things I’ve learned on my spiritual path to prove that this space we enter, the middle place, actually is (or can be) the best and most important time of our lives. 

Let’s start with the Bible, or at least 500 years of it or so crammed into a few paragraphs (with apologies to scholars & close readers).

Have you ever thought about the term, Good Samaritan?  Everyone who goes to church wants to be a Good Samaritan, don’t they.   Don’t you? In many passages, Jesus talked about good Samaritans, and commended them for all the good works they did for others.

For example, Luke 10:25-37 is actually called “The Parable of The Good Samaritan.”  In this scripture, Jesus tells the tale of three men who approach a man on the side of the road who had been attacked by robbers, and commends “the one who had mercy on him.” The Good Samaritan. In other examples in the Bible, John 4:4-26, Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well, and asks her for a drink.  In this interchange, Jesus gives the Samaritan the greatest gift of all.

The question I have is: when did Samaritans become the good guys, and the people named in the Bible to receive God’s gifts?  The Samaritans were a class of people who had lost their place in Jewish society, and were loathed and despised by the Jews ever since.  When were Samaritans lifted up and given a place of respect and importance?  Repurposed if you will, such that the name Samaritan itself went from being synonymous with outcast, to that of being a doer of good deeds?

It started with the Exile – the Babylonian Exile.  Or more accurately, in the time of the Fall leading to the Exile.  Many prophets had prophesied that the Exile was coming.  The Prophet Isaiah, for example, spoke of the coming destruction and exile (i.e. Isaiah 5:13).

And as we know, these prophesies turned out to be accurate. Jerusalem was invaded, people were massacred, and the city and the Great Temple were burned to the ground.  The elite - the wealthy, the intelligencia and the religious leaders – were the first to be sent into bondage in Babylon.  Followed soon after by the lesser classes.  But not all Jews living in Israel and Judah were sent into Exile – some were left in Jerusalem as slaves in their own city.  And ignored completely were the Jews living in Samaria – an outpost city in the north of the kingdom.

Not that much was written about the Jews while they lived in exile in Babylon.  But one thing seems certain: before the exile the Jews were a people of the Temple, who believed that God resided in the Temple.  They worshipped God at the temple and other high places (in Hebrew “bemot”).   Without the Temple and high places, the Jews were without their God and the foundations of their religion.  In order to preserve their religion and people, having no homeland to call their own, the leaders made a critical decision while in exile – they decided that God was indeed everywhere, and that the worship of God would be from that point founded in the Bible. That is Judaism changed from a “religion of place” to a religion “of the book.”  This important decision, made while in captivity – in a space of suffering – not only ensured their continuity in exile, but enabled the Judeo-Christian religion to survive for the next 2500 years.

We know that Jewish people were allowed to return to Jerusalem after 70 years of exile. That prophecy was fulfilled in 537 B.C., and the Jews were allowed by King Cyrus of Persia to return to Israel and begin rebuilding the city and temple.  Two great prophets emerged from exile to lead the rebuilding of Jerusalem and the Temple.   The prophet Ezra, who declared that the Temple should be rebuilt first, and that God would protect the people who first honored God and their religion.  On the other hand, the prophet Nehemiah declared that the Jews should first rebuild the walls of the city.  Perhaps more pragmatic than Ezra, he determined that without walls the city would be vulnerable to attack.  It is unknown who won this debate, or if the Temple or the walls were reconstructed first.  But the debate, between putting God first or material security first, rages on in various ways to this day.

But not all Jews were permitted to rebuild the Temple and the walls of the city.

The Jews who had been left to live in Samaria without going to exile wanted to help rebuild Jerusalem.   But in the ensuing seventy years, the Jews in Samaria had intermarried with non-Jews, and now were considered unclean and half-breeds. They were no longer considered to be Jews by the people in Jerusalem and were not allowed to enter the holy city.  Instead, they were scorned and mocked for what they had done.  The Samaritans were considered a lesser people for the next 500 years, through the Greek occupation of Israel, and then the Roman occupation of Israel, and right up to the time of Jesus when he spoke of them in parables.  When Jesus lifted them up, and declared their worthiness as people of God.

It always amazes me that the greatest time of change for the Jews – the change that assured them a new life and a new freedom, was in the middle period while they were in Exile.

The same is true for the Israelites in the Exodus. When we think of the Bible, we are usually drawn to the desert, the place in the middle where the Israelites witnessed great miracles for forty years and became a new people – a people without memories of bondage in Egypt and who had yet to be delivered to the promised land.

And is true for the Samaritans, who led lives of dejection and persecution by their own people, not allowed the rights and privileges to worship and belong for over 500 years.  They were restored by Jesus in a new way in a new community, a community which was forming even as Jerusalem and the Temple were again burned to the ground in 70 AD.

I am an Israelite, a Jew, a Samaritan and a Christian.

Perhaps as Israelites, Jews, Samaritans and Christians these Bible passages were given to us for a reason.  Perhaps that reason was to charge us with the message that life, and our identity in this life, is impermanent.  Perhaps after all the generations since it is burned into our DNA.

Perhaps it has become so embodied that we intuit, we know, that the day will come along where life will indeed different than the life we planned - like the Israelites in Egypt, or the Jews in Jerusalem, or Samaritans in their own city.  And that we all enter places middle places where we will have the opportunities to change into something different than before.  Something more authentic to our new and unexpected place in the world.  Something more able to survive the trials and tests, and enjoy the gifts and blessings of our new order.  That, in fact, this inevitability is the only way we can survive and flourish.  And that because it is inevitable, it something we do not have to fear.  Instead, it is something that we can joyfully anticipate and plan for.  

It is my proposition that this middle space, this place of no longer the past and not yet the future, is not actually a place of exile, but is a place of sanctuary.  A place of retreat.  A holy, God-given place that is an opportunity for every one of us to rest, grow, learn, evolve and become the people God intends us to be.

And in order to experience these gifts in this place, all we have to do is one thing.  One simple thing that eludes most of us for so long that we suffer.  The one thing we have to do is ACCEPT that we here.  ACCEPT that God has delivered us to this place.  That we are in this place, right here right now. 

The middle place. Exactly where we are supposed to be.   



Watch For: A Repurposed Life: My Story. 

We welcome your thoughts, comments & contributions: online or at: jgrant@repurposedlife.org

_________________

Excerpts from Jeff's Book "Last Stop Babylon"

we've posted on our blogsite:

October 13, 2013 - "Suburbia"

December 28, 2013 - "What It Was Really Like Growing Up On Long Island"

March 10, 2014 - "Momento"

April 17, 2014 - "Respect" 

May 4, 2014 - "Fog Day"

_________________

Rev. Jeff Grant, JD, M Div, Minister/Director
jgrant@prisonist.org
jg3074@columbia.edu

(o) +1203.769.1096
(m) +1203.339.5887

Linked In Twitter  Facebook 

Lynn Springer, Advocate, Innocent Spouses & Children
lspringer@prisonist.org
(m) +1203.536.5508

George Bresnan, Advocate, Ex-Pats
gbresnan@prisonist.org

Michael Karaffa, Advocate, Disabilities
mkaraffa@prisonist.org

___________

Comments from Social Media: 

Carol Morton 1^st

Prison Ministry Partners of San Antonio Director

Great article!

Michael Popovici

Investigator for Criminal Defense and Military Law Investigations

Jeff, Your thoughts on how we each are in the best moment of our lives, no matter our situation, is profound. It gives great hope for those suffering either from their own circumstances and deeds or to those inflicted with pain and struggles by their association with the downfall of others. You provide a great service in helping everyone who is experiencing the persistent failings and fallenness of humanity. 

Graeme Bissett

Manager of Planning and Development at Toodyay Shire

I agree we are in God's tapestry and this is His best for us and even in what to us in hindsight are failures He uses for His glory. he knows ahead of time the choices we make and uses these to bring out the best.
As I know others have shared the truth of your statement is not evident in the here and now but can be seen with the benefit if hindsight. Personally this has brought life from death, success from failure and a wonderful wife ! God is good and we are in his best place despite the personal situation we are in. 

• Ronald Simpson

  
  

  Lifer Intern Project at American Friends Service Committee (AFSC)

  
  

  Hi Jeff. Great proposition for the uninitiated! However, in my opinion all of your proposed "what ifs" are are actually the way they are meant to be because there are no accidents or strange happenings. The universal law of The Creator governs all events. God gave man dominion over all creation. Of all the creatures in creation only man was given a "will" and the power of choice. That is what makes us in the image and likeness of God. It was man's "will" that tore him away from God and it is through his will that he will return to oneness with God. Man always finds himself where he can solve his problems best, whether it be in prison or in a mansion. Being that man is a spirit clothed in flesh I believe that on the paths of our spiritual journey are many series of gates or stations so to speak. When we make a choice we stand at a set of those gates. Universal law reacts to that choice and opens a particular gate to direct our lives down a certain path according to (our will) the choice we make. So where each of us are in our lives is where we are supposed to be in order that our spirits and souls gain the experience and knowledge to continue our spiritual ascension back to oneness with God.

  
  
• Paula Harriott

  Head of Programmes at User Voice

  This is an interesting perspective and one which I utilised well to cope with 4 years in prison Acceptance of what was happening and a belief that all was divinely in order allowed the fear to subside and the journey to unfold 
  
  Dionne P. Boissiere Amazing! Thank you for writing this. May I share it?
  
  

  manny khushalani

  
  

  Independent Arts and Crafts Professional

  
  

  "God has pre program, where you are suppose to be". Buddha Philosophy was [It is impossible to change past, but God has given free will to choose "right from wrong" to build the future]. Buddha taught to practice Yoga [Exercise] & Meditation to control the desires (Ego, Anger, Greed, Lust & Attachment) to achieve [Nirvana] Freedom of [Karma] incarnation. "Jesus had a greatest power & control on {Temptation} also at end prayed for forgiveness the people crucified him". 
  
  

  RonBell Skyhut Loves http://Unlimited.Education

  
  

  Public Relations at Silverton Lions Club

  
  

  You have expressed an interesting "WHAT IF" perspective on our Life/God relationship. 
  
  Hi Jeff,
  I think how we got where we are, whether Preordained or Free Will is not the question.  The deeper question is what are we going to do with our lives now that we are where we are. Some suggestions:
  Check your priorities. Set new life goals. See the suffering around you & do something about it. Look for the good in your life everyday. Make a difference. Recipe for a happy life, make other people happy. 
  Barry - Barry S. Diamond, founder of reentrysurvivors.com
   

  Akeeysha Rodgers-Williams

  Government Administration Professional

  Great theory on life, i really enjoyed reading this message, it actually opened up my eyes as to reality. We are exactly where God wants us to be at this time, moment and place. No matter what the situation is, there is a purpose for everything.
  Thanks

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Donations

We are grateful for donations from individuals, religious groups, charities, foundations and the like. Donations can be made by credit card/PayPal or by sending your check payable to: “Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc.” P.O. Box 1232, Weston, Connecticut 06883. Progressive Prison Project/Innocent Spouse & Children Project are missions of Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc. We are a CT Religious Corp. with 501c3 status - all donations are tax deductible to the extent permitted by law. Thank you for your support and generosity.

If transformation and redemption matter to you, a friend or a family member with a white-collar or nonviolent incarceration issue, please contact us and we will promptly send you an information package by mail, email or via Dropbox. The darkest days of a person's life can be a time of renewal and hope.