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Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Men of Faith Magazine Cover Story: Interview with Rev. Jeff Grant, May/June Edition - by Hurley Morgan, Senior Managing Editor

Prisonist.org
Faith & Dignity for the Days Ahead
Blogs, Guest Blogs & News



Men of Faith Magazine Cover Story: 

Interview with Rev. Jeff Grant, Director,
Progressive Prison Project
by Hurley Morgan, 
Senior Managing Editor

[Photography by David Cluett]

We are so grateful to Elissa Gabrielle,  Cheryl Lacey Donovan, Hurley Morgan,  Cee Cee H. Caldwell Miller and all at  Real Life Real Faith Media for allowing us  the opportunity to reach out to individuals  and families with white-collar and nonviolent  incarceration issues who are suffering in silence.



_______________
 
Hurley Morgan: How did you first become interested in the issues that surround white-collar and other nonviolent incarceration?

Jeff Grant: Good morning Hurley.  It is so good to meet you. Your cover story interviews of Tracy Martin, father of Trayvon Martin, and of Christopher Williams were so powerful and helpful - if our interview touches even one person or family suffering from white-collar or nonviolent incarceration issues, I will consider it a success.  The most obvious answer to your question is that from 2006 - 2007, I was incarcerated for almost fourteen months at Allenwood LSCI, a federal prison in White Deer, Pennsylvania for a white-collar crime I committed when I was a lawyer.
 
HM: When did you first realize that you wanted to launch this project?

JG: I think our ministry was a more a calling than a realization. After returning home from prison, I volunteered for some recovery and prisoner reentry agencies in the Bridgeport Connecticut area.  Most notably, Family ReEntry, which was the first organization to elect me to its Board of Directors.  I then applied to and was accepted at Union Theological Seminary in the City of New York, where I attended from 2009 to 2012.  After earning a Master of Divinity with a focus in Christian Social Ethics, I was called to a position at the First Baptist Church in the inner city in Bridgeport, Connecticut, as Associate Pastor and Director of Prison Ministries.  My wife and partner-in-ministry Lynn Springer and I were living in Greenwich, CT at the time, where we were attending recovery meetings every morning.   In Greenwich recovery, I helped many financial people through their own prison-related issues.  The concept of founding the first ministry in the United States created to support individuals, families and organizations with white-collar incarceration issues grew out of our personal experiences living and working in these vastly different communities. 


HM: What is your mission and what do you find to be the biggest challenge with carrying out that mission?

JG: Our mission is to shepherd individuals and families with white-collar and nonviolent incarceration issues all the way through the prison process and to a new life of faith, dignity and productivity. A big challenge is the public’s lack of empathy, compassion, understanding and support.  The media generally doesn’t help - it is much more interested in promoting schadenfraude through sensationalized headlines about the fall from grace of the wealthiest people who have committed white-collar crimes.  If you look around, these stories are everywhere, fact or fiction: two Madoff movies, the television show Billions, the Wolf of Wall Street, Money Monster, The Big Short, Blue Jasmine, etc.  While we do regularly assist some big names you might see on CNBC or read about in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, most we help are regular people - people who live down the street, who are parents of your children’s friends, people you know from church or synagogue -  who just got caught up in things and couldn’t stop before it was too late. We have found that most people who commit white-collar crimes are sick and suffering, and have underlying issues relating to alcoholism, drug dependency, mental health, other addictions and compulsions, etc. that they don’t understand and for which they sought no treatment until the bottom dropped out.


HM: What exactly is a white-collar crime?

JG: Generally, white-collar crimes are financial crimes - they are about breach of trust.  But for us, white-collar crime is a more fluid concept - it incorporates individuals and families that can't go back to their old way of life because those doors have closed.  For example, professionals who are convicted of felonies for DWIs or DUIs might be prevented from going back to their old jobs or professions.  Where do they turn for support, especially if they are now living in poverty in affluent communities that have shunned and ostracized them?  Our ministry is about helping them to overcome shame, finding a new life of faith and dignity, and helping them to find support and services. 
   
HM: What is the biggest challenge that you are faced with today that challenges what it is you’re trying to accomplish with your ministry or services?

JG: Our biggest challenge, as is true with most nonprofits, is to find funding to allow us to provide direct services to those in need, and to operate and grow. We do not charge for our services; our only source of revenue is donations. These donations are usually from religious institutions, foundations and individuals.  We are very grateful for the support and generosity of all our contributors.

HM: How hard is it to typically get a person to engage in the services?

JG: It’s really a mixed bag. Most of the people suffering from these issues search the internet for any resources they can find - they come across our website prisonist.org and then we hear from them by phone, email, text, or social media. They are often in isolation but are drawn to us because we are faith-based, and they are comforted because as clergy all their communications with us are strictly confidential - this is also a reason that their lawyers will allow them to have a relationship with us. We often hear from them in the middle of the night when they have the most anxiety and can’t sleep. We understand. Others have read about us in magazine articles or by word of mouth. And we know that our newsletters are being forwarded to people in need and that they circulate in the prisons. With some people we wind up having successful multi-year relationships, and there are others who simply do not want what we have to offer and we never hear from them again. These are difficult issues and everyone handles things differently.
  
HM: What is the typical timeline for the services and what do the services entail?

JG: The timeline really depends upon the point of entry.  There are people to whom we minister that are waiting over three years just to be sentenced.  We are in contact with men and families during the time of incarceration.  We have now been operating long enough that some men we worked with before and/or during their incarceration are now returning home and we are helping them reconnect with their families and find new careers. The services we provide are both spiritual and practical - we give individuals and families the benefit of our own experience and the many people we know and have worked with all in the framework of getting through shame, ostracism and despair to a new life of faith, dignity and productivity.

HM: How successful are your support and counseling services in getting those served to be successful as they are being reincorporated to normalcy?

JG: The goal is not to be restored to normalcy, but to adopt a new way of life that is more faithful, happier and authentic.  Most of the people we minister to were not happy underneath, they were sick and suffering in some way that led them to do things that were the opposite of their core authenticity.  Nobody we’ve ever met or worked with thought in fifth grade that they wanted to become a white-collar criminal and go to prison. Something happened along the way that affected their judgment and self-esteem.  We help them get back to their core truths, and find ways to live the lives they were meant to live. 


HM: Why are your services so important for people to know about?

JG: I’d have to say it’s about Matthew 25, The Sheep and the Goats, "whatever you did for one of the least of these...you did for me.” We realize that what we do is not for the timid or the faint of heart.  But what calling is?  There are tens of thousands of people suffering from white-collar and other nonviolent incarceration issues who need us.  It is our hope that there are others who will pick up their cross and join us to help these individuals and families who have nowhere else to turn.

HM: Many people hate the idea of receiving counseling. How do you overcome that barrier in people to get them to want the help?

JG: When we started our ministry, our number one priority was to be a power of example to people that you can survive prison and go on to live a faithful, productive life of integrity and authenticity. People identify with this, it gives them hope and promise that they can get through their issues too. Even the most resistant to pastoral counseling still seem to be drawn to our story, and the stories of others who have overcome great obstacles to success and happiness. 


HM: Why did you choose the name Progressive Prison Project/Innocent Spouse & Children Project?

JG: The term “progressive” means that although we are a Christian faith-based project, we do not privilege one religion or denomination over any other.  We have worked with and ministered to Jews, Muslims and those who have other faiths or no faith at all.  After we started, it soon became clear that that there was no ministry in the country that had recognized the issues, and was dedicated to the spiritual health, of the spouses and children so we founded the Innocent Spouse & Children Project.
 
HM: How are the spouses and children incorporated in the services?

JG: We have a policy that it’s men with the men, women with the women.  This avoids any transference issues that might come up, especially amongst a population of women who are often the spouses of powerful men.  So my wife and partner-in-ministry Lynn handles all this.  There is one exception: sometimes a woman will come to us with a complicated issue that requires one of our lawyer partners or professionals to review. In one case, an innocent spouse came to us after her personal assets had been frozen by the government along with her husband’s (he was accused of a white-collar crime).   She had no money for food or to heat the home for her and her children, and certainly no money to retain a lawyer to help her.  We put together a team that got her a recovery from the U.S. Receiver, the first time in U.S. history that such a recovery had ever been made in an active financial crime prosecution.
 
HM: What is your vision for your Progressive Prison Project/Innocent Spouse & Children Project moving into the next 5 years or so?

JG: Our number one goal is to move individuals and families going though these issues from lives of stigma, shame, ostracism and guilt to lives of faith, dignity, respect and productivity.  To do that, we know we have to be not only ministers, but we have to be advocates, change agents and thought leaders until the public and the press accept and embrace that people are people, and that we are all bound by our brokenness. Our plan is to have a fiscally healthy, self-sustaining and fully accountable ministry that thoughtfully and carefully grows to meet these needs. 


HM: Do you plan to take your services nationwide?

JG: We are already nationwide, albeit mostly in a personal way. Off the top of my head, we have ministered to individuals and families in Seattle, Portland, Chicago, Denver, Kansas City, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Miami, Washington DC, Virginia, Georgia, Buffalo, and of course New York City and the New York metro area including Connecticut and New Jersey.  We do sometimes meet in person, but most times we communicate by phone, Skype, FaceTime, email or text. And federal prisons now have email called CorrLinks, so we stay connected even when they are serving their time. 


HM: If someone is interested in your services how can they go about getting help or even getting involved for that matter?

JG: If your readers, their friends or family members are experiencing a white-collar or nonviolent incarceration issue, want to get involved, or want to make a contribution, information is on our website prisonist.org. I can be reached at jgrant@prisonist.org. We will promptly send out an information package by mail, email or via DropBox. The darkest days of a person's life can be a time of renewal and hope. 


Comments from Social Media: 

Debbie Miles I wanted to share that Wells Fargo positions now specifically encourage those with records to apply. Specifically this is what a recent ad now says: Disclaimer All offers for employment with Wells Fargo are contingent upon the candidate having successfully completed a criminal background check. Wells Fargo will consider qualified candidates with criminal histories in a manner consistent with the requirements of applicable local, state and Federal law, including Section 19 of the Federal Deposit Insurance Act. 

_______________
Donations
 
We are grateful for all donations this past year to our Ministries. These donations enable us to grow, reach out and serve this community for which there is far too little understanding, compassion, empathy and accurate information.  Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc. is a CT Religious Corp. with 501c3 status -


https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=R6XKLHXQJ6YJY


all donations are tax deductible to the extent permitted by law. We hope you will consider making a donation to our appeal this year.  Donations can be made by credit card/PayPal here, at the "Donate" button on on our site, prisonist.org or by sending your check payable to: "Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc." P.O. Box 1232, Weston, Connecticut 06883.  We have enclosed an addressed envelope for your use. Thank you.

__________ 
 

If you, a friend or a family member are experiencing a white-collar or nonviolent incarceration issue, please contact us and we will promptly send you an information package by mail, email or via Dropbox.  
The darkest days of a person's life can be a  time of renewal and hope.

__________



Progressive Prison Project/ Innocent Spouse & Children Project
 
Rev. Jeff Grant, JD, M Div, Minister/Director
jgrant@prisonist.org
(o) 203-769-1096
(m) 203-339-5887
Twitter,Facebook,Linked In,Pinterest,Google+,Tumblr


Lynn Springer, Founding Advocate, Innocent Spouse & Children Project
lspringer@prisonist.org

(203) 536-5508


George Bresnan, Advocate, Ex-Pats
gbresnan@prisonist.org
(203) 609-5088

Jim Gabal, Development
jgabal@prisonist.org
(203) 858-2865

Babz Rawls Ivy, Media Contact
mediababz@gmail.com
 

Monday, May 16, 2016

Women Walking By Faith Magazine: A Chat with Lynn Springer, May/June 2016 Edition

Prisonist.org
Faith & Dignity for the Days Ahead
Blogs, Guest Blogs & News


Women Walking By Faith Magazine
A Chat with Lynn Springer, Founding Advocate
Innocent Spouse & Children Project 

We are so grateful to Elissa Gabrielle, 
Cheryl Lacey Donovan, Hurley Morgan, 
Cee Cee H. Caldwell Miller and all at 
Real Life Real Faith Media for allowing us 
the opportunity to reach out to individuals 
and families with white-collar and nonviolent 
incarceration issues who are suffering in silence.




Click above pages to enlarge
 _____________

Donations

We are grateful for all donations this past year to our Ministries. These donations enable us to grow, reach out and serve this community for which there is far too little understanding, compassion, empathy and accurate information.  Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc. is a CT Religious Corp. with 501c3 status -


https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=R6XKLHXQJ6YJY


all donations are tax deductible to the extent permitted by law. We hope you will consider making a donation to our appeal this year.  Donations can be made by credit card/PayPal here, at the "Donate" button on on our site, prisonist.org or by sending your check payable to: "Progressive Prison Ministries, Inc." P.O. Box 1232, Weston, Connecticut 06883.  We have enclosed an addressed envelope for your use. Thank you.

__________ 
 

If you, a friend or a family member are experiencing a white-collar or nonviolent incarceration issue, please contact us and we will promptly send you an information package by mail, email or via Dropbox.  

The darkest days of a person's life can be a 
time of renewal and hope.

__________





Progressive Prison Project/
Innocent Spouse & Children Project
 

Rev. Jeff Grant, JD, M Div, Minister/Director
jgrant@prisonist.org
(o) 203-769-1096
(m) 203-339-5887
Twitter,Facebook,Linked In,Pinterest,Google+,Tumblr


Lynn Springer, Founding Advocate, Innocent Spouse & Children Project
lspringer@prisonist.org

(203) 536-5508


George Bresnan, Advocate, Ex-Pats
gbresnan@prisonist.org
(203) 609-5088

Jim Gabal, Development
jgabal@prisonist.org
(203) 858-2865

Babz Rawls Ivy, Media Contact
mediababz@gmail.com

Monday, April 29, 2013

Songs From The Inside, Volume One: Soothed

-->
A song about God, a woman, compulsions or perhaps my anima


soothed





everything's the same

but everything has changed

 i see you standing there

i'm calling out your name



but the words won't come

 no the words won't come

 no the words won't come



soothed by the sound of your voice

soothed by the sound of your name

obsessed i made the wrong choice

i used your sweet name in vain



everything has changed

but everything's the same

you see me sitting here

you're calling out my name



but the words won't come

no the words won't come

no the words won't come



soothed by the sound of your voice

soothed by the sound of your name

possessed i make the wrong choice

i use your good name in vain



and as the days turn into years

your face softens in the glow

of long forgotten tears

over things you will never know



soothed by the sound of your voice

soothed by the sound of your name

obsessed i made the wrong choice

my unfinished symphony of pain

jeff grant
2007

Excerpt from The Art of Surviving Prison  Copyright 2013, all rights reserved Jeff Grant, Progressive Prison Project jgrant3074@icloud.com 15 E. Putnam Ave. #370
Greenwich, Connecticut 06830
(203) 339-5887 


Sunday, April 28, 2013

Songs From The Inside, Volume One: I Call Again

-->
A song about God, a woman, compulsions or perhaps my anima

i call again
 


i try to get close, you push me away
i can't say i blame you but i want you to stay
that's all there is to it


i wander around, living day by day
with unanswered questions and endless delays
why can't we get through it?


i call up to see you, you always say yes
but when's the next time its anybody's guess
how much longer can i do it?


yet, 
i call again, i always call again
i do
i call again, i always call again
even though we both know
its the wrong thing
to do


we go to the mall, i wash your clothes
when you have a cold i blow your nose
its a crying shame


you spend your life, searching for the perfect match
and here i sit waiting for your scraps
its a sad sad game


the truth of it all, is that you can't see
no matter what i do this is me, this is me
it remains the same


yet,
i call again, i always call again
i do
i call again, i always call again
even though we both know
its the wrong thing
to do

 
i call again, i always call again
i do
i call again, i always call again
even though we both know
its the wrong thing
to do





jeff grant 
2007





Excerpt from The Art of Surviving Prison 
Copyright 2013, all rights reserved
Jeff Grant, Progressive Prison Project
jgrant3074@icloud.com
15 E. Putnam Ave. #370
Greenwich, Connecticut 06830

(203) 339-5887

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Mourning My Father Part Two: The French Chairs




Progressive Prison Project
Greenwich, Connecticut

This originally appeared as one of my Practically Religion columns in Greenwich, Connecticut.


Mourning My Father Part Two: The French Chairs
by Jeff Grant

I prayed this morning.  I got up early but instead of my usual early morning ritual of pot o’ coffee and a couple of hours of writing, I went to church.  The chapel at the Second Congregational Church here in Greenwich is glorious, especially in the wee hours as daybreak first streams in.  It reminds me that it is a holy place.  Since my father died this past December, I feel lost.  It is a strange and uncomfortable sensation, especially since my father and I were not especially close.  The legacy he left is only first beginning to emerge.  This morning I prayed for guidance and for healing; healing for me and for my family.  I received a reply.
_________________________

About twenty years ago, my ex and I were in Paris shopping in the flea market at Clignancourt when we happened upon the most beautiful chairs, in such interesting shapes and sizes.   They were bent wood, art deco, and definitely not for everybody.  They had been designed for a hotel in Barbados that had gone out of business.  The dealer in Paris bought up the entire inventory of the hotel and shipped it back to be sold off piece by piece.  My ex spotted one of her interior designer heroes, Rose Tarlow, and her entourage making a beeline for the chairs.  Rose knew exactly what she wanted and ordered four of the chairs on the spot.  I guess that was the tipping point for us because as soon as Rose completed her transaction, we bought two of the French Chairs and had them shipped to us back in the States.

The French Chairs were beautiful but were very uncomfortable, and we really never knew what to do with them.  In truth, they were more like objets d’ art, or maybe huge doorstops, that we lugged around from home to home.  When my ex and I split up, I guess it wasn’t much of a surprise that I got the French Chairs; after all in our baseball-card game of need it/got it… they came in close to last.  Yet, even after I remarried and Lynn and I made a home here in Greenwich, the French Chairs sat majestically in our living room: a tribute to days and dreams gone by (and probably our inability to see the madness of dedicating thirty percent of our living space to chairs that we couldn’t possibly sit in).  Nonetheless, they were a part of the family.

My daughter and her husband are presently selling their house in Greenwich, and are making their way up to the hinterlands of Fairfield.  I called my daughter and told her that our time as custodians of the French Chairs was thus drawing to a close.   Upon hearing about the availability of her beloved French Chairs, she waxed poetic and drove right over to pick them up.  After all, to her these were way more than chairs; they contained the memories of her childhood and were markers of those nostalgic times (even if those times had to be spent on the floor in front of the chairs and not on the chairs themselves). 

After the French Chairs had been safely passed on to the next generation, Lynn and I wasted no time in filling the void with a pair of Crate & Barrel upholstered chairs that we bought used at Consign It on Mason Street.  It was nice to be able to finally use that side of our living room; we found out that we actually have a sliver-view of the Sound.  
________________________________

Today I am emailing a copy of this column to my entire family along an invitation to join me for dinner at my favorite restaurant on Thursday evening at 6pm.  There are only two things on the agenda (although I admit these things usually take on a life of their own).  The first is to pay tribute to my father, Stanley Grant.  The second is to celebrate our family, in whatever shape and size, no matter how beautiful or uncomfortable, despite how much space we take up, no matter where we reside, or how much it makes us think about our yesterdays or our tomorrows.   To sit and get to know each other as we are.  To mend fences, make amends, and cherish the little time we have left together on this planet.  To tell stories, laugh, shout, sing and listen to our hearts.
I miss my Dad and I wish he could be at dinner to join us.  I waited too long to invite him.  I won’t make the same mistake again.



Jeff Grant, JD, M Div
Progressive Prison Project
Assoc. Minister / Director of Prison Ministries  
The First Baptist Church of Bridgeport

126 Washington Avenue

Bridgeport, Connecticut 06604 


203.339.5887

Mourning My Father, Warts and All (Part One)



Progressive Prison Project
Greenwich, Connecticut


This is an excerpt from my book, The Art of Surviving Prison, awaiting publication. It originally appeared as one of my Practically Religion columns in Greenwich, Connecticut.

Mourning My father, Warts And All (Part One)

By Jeff Grant

My Dad grew up in Brooklyn at a time when it seemed everybody was from Brooklyn.  He was tall, smart, good looking - he joined the Navy and then went to Pace University.  He was the captain of the tennis team, and went on to enroll at the Columbia University Business School.  His own family business beckoned before he could complete school, a successful handbag company, and as the heir apparent Dad was to take it to unprecedented heights.  He met my Mom, a beautiful Brooklyn girl seven years younger, and they married at the Savoy Plaza Hotel in New York City, where the General Motors Building now stands across from Central Park.  Shortly after their marriage, the handbag business folded and my parents decided to move to Boston to put some distance between them and Dad’s family.

In the 1950’s, Boston was not a city known for being overly hospitable to Jews, so my Dad sent out two groups of resumes: one group with his family name, Goldberg, and the other with a name he had gotten out of the phonebook, Grant.  The story goes that he received five times the amount of replies under the name Grant than Goldberg, accepted a job, and had his and my mother’s name changed to Grant.  I was born in Boston less than two years later; my brother and sister were born in the Boston suburbs in obligatory two-year intervals. But Boston proved no Promised Land and in 1961 the family moved to Merrick, Long Island looking for a fresh start.

Merrick was a culture of second and third generation Jews escaping Brooklyn, all moved en masse to their version the good life.  Somehow, this entire generation collectively decided to become some sort of holocaust deniers. The war and the holocaust were never mentioned to any of us even though the war had ended less than ten years before many of we baby boomers were born.  We all grew up without any real sense of history or family.  South Merrick, where we lived, was a brand new town on the South Shore of Long Island, built on dirt and garbage dredged from the bottom of the East Bay.  Merrick was pretty much like every other town that we would pass on those rare occasions that my Dad would take me into the city with him.  Or later when I would go with my friends to a Mets game.  We would hop on the Long Island Rail Road, the “largest commuter railroad in the country;” it was a sea of dads each morning going off to their brave new worlds in New York City.  Or, perhaps, like mine, escaping their families. 

Dad had taken out a V.A. loan in 1961 and we moved into our house in South Merrick.  Ours was the only house on our street.  The street would not be paved for a year or two, and the other houses were being built all around ours, like dinosaurs rising up out of the dunes.  The roar of trucks and barges dredging was everywhere. Every kid in the neighborhood who moved into the neighborhood was about the same age, and had a brother or sister exactly two years older or younger. It was a kids’ paradise.  The Dads took off early in the morning, and the Moms did whatever Moms did. We really didn’t know, because none of us ever saw our parents. It was a town completely devoid of history and rules; we had to make them up as we went along.

Like his father before him, my Dad had a business failure in his early forties that was a turning point and changed the fabric of our family.  It proved to be a piece of prophecy and prescience that would haunt me for the rest of my life.  My Dad had a business in Manhattan that had one huge claim to fame: it was the world’s first marketing agency.  Back in the early sixties, when his eventual partner Sam and he both worked at Loft’s Candy Corp. in Long Island City, nobody even used the word “marketing.”  But Sam and my Dad did the marketing for Loft’s, and built it into a powerhouse of early franchising.  They left together with Loft’s as their first client, and then built a marketing agency that specialized in franchising.  As a kid, I remember going to store openings for all sorts of companies whose jingles were on television or the radio; and, of course, we always had free stuff from them all over the house.  But my Dad’s fame came from the fact that he was the marketing guy for Carvel Ice Cream.  Our freezer was always stuffed with Brown Bonnets, Flying Saucers and Lollapaloozas.  

Dad’s office on East 55th Street in Manhattan was set up with a glass top desk, wrap around sofa, and Barcelona chairs - for Dad, image was everything.  On one of the few days that Dad took me into his office, I was sitting on the sofa when Tom Carvel called in.  Tom Carvel was a very famous guy in New York back in the 60’ and 70’s. He was a cultural icon, as he appeared daily in hundreds of Carvel Ice Cream ads on television.  He had a very distinctive low raspy voice.  I’m certain that my Dad meant to impress me, and asked me to pick up the phone extension next to the sofa at the same time he picked up his phone on the desk.

“Stan, it’s Tom.  How the hell are ya?”
“Great Tom.  What’s doing?”  Dad was proud, beaming.
“Hey, why don’t you hop in your car and drive up to Yonkers [Carvel’s headquarters], I’ll get us some hookers.’’
Dad’s face looked ashen, as he waived his arms for me to put down the phone. 

The shit was all pretty much hitting the fan anyway.   My father’s huffing and puffing was intolerable to my Mom, to his partner Sam, and to almost everyone around him.  It wasn’t that he was arrogant; he was just full of a certain type of self-deception meets impunity meets righteous indignation, in which he thought that he could do things better than other people, but never quite delivered on his own promises.  With business doing well, Dad marched into his partner Sam’s office and announced that he needed a better split of the profits since he was responsible for most of the sales.  Sam calmly told him that a business needs a front room guy and a backroom guy, and that without both of them it would be closed within a year. Unimpressed, Dad pushed the issue. Sam left and, sure enough, the business collapsed.   Dad soon started having health problems, perhaps coincident to when he found out that my Mom had been having an affair with his biggest client. 

The last memory I have of my Dad in the Merrick house was him banging on the front door to be let in one night.  My bedroom window was in front of the house, and as I stuck my head out the window to see what was going on, my Mom came up behind me and pulled me back in.   She told me that my Dad didn’t live there anymore.   There’s more to the story of how I became the adult of the family, and how this paradigm defines the eldest child’s life in these situations.  I have never reconciled these issues with my brother or sister, both of whom were probably affected in ways I will never fully realize.  Nonetheless, when my opportunity came to get out of Merrick, I jumped at the chance and never looked back.

Excerpted from Jeff Grant’s book, The Art of Surviving Prison, awaiting publication

For Information Please Contact:

Jeff Grant, JD, M Div
Progressive Prison Project
Assoc. Minister / Director of Prison Ministries The First Baptist Church of Bridgeport

126 Washington Avenue

Bridgeport, Connecticut 06604 


203.339.5887